hahahah just another way to show how much :)
I was alone this afternoon like this lone tree.
My parents were in the stall(still are), piggy sis went to her ojt, and froggy sis went to her friend’s place(prolly got super bored with me TT). It was my first day of rest, well technically not because my last day at work took place 2 days ago. I went to the church yesterday and felt tired when I went back in the evening so today is just the day that I spent it all by myself. I was feeling listless and thinking what I should do to make it meaningful. I tried to visit my ebook but felt this kind of tug pulling me not to read. So I just decided to watch Click by Adam Sandler that I was wanting to watch even before but didn’t have the chance then, and the desire just intensified when my sisters watched it together few days ago(and where was I? Oh I was having a post and pre work rest -__-). So it was nice. Funny yes but brimming with lessons. Just the perfect flick anyone can enjoy. I wish I can manage my own family well when the time comes.
I’m trying to recall why I’m writing right now.. Oh lol yeah I was browsing through themes available for Chrome when I saw that tree up there. It captivated me because I felt like that lone tree. Standing and waiting. Engulfed in the darkness illuminated by the shining stars. I reminisced the times when I was one of those noisy and giggling kids outside our house awhile ago. The outgoing me didn’t care about what to eat, where to get money, and what to do with my life. Back then I just wanted to play and play. Laugh and imitate things my playmates do. And now.. I felt alone. Though not completely alone, but it feels like I’m in the stage that I have to decide on things that will not only affect myself, but the others too. Solitude is such a lonely thing that strikes whenever possible. Unless you fill yourself with games and entertainment. Unfortunately I’m not an avid fan of computer games/TV. TV feels like just a company sometimes. 2nd unfortunate thing is I don’t have any musical instruments to bully with. 3rd thing is the 3L’s, namely: Listlessness, laziness and loneliness. They creep in like a snake, tempting me to just sit and stare at space, walk around aimlessly, lie down and beckon emptiness to occupy me.
I will have to wake up really early tomorrow to have my clearance signed. I fervently hope the people who needs to sign the lame paper will all be present tomorrow, or else I’ll have to go back there again on another day. Siiiiighhh I should’ve done it long time ago if only I knew or bothered to know. Let’s cross our fingers that everything will work out according to my mini plan for this week.
p.s. I hate my persistent cough. I have it for 2 weeks now and it has already electrified my nerves again and again— I couldn’t speak properly and sing well without a little cough. lol. It’s getting better now though. Atleast I don’t cough asthmatically now and get that stupid feeling like I’m gonna throw up my lungs.
p.s. I miss my dear. :(
I wish I could do things as planned and well organized. As much as I hate doing things out of proportion, I have to tell myself that ennui and nothingness will always haunt me down. And I have to tell myself that there are things to do, things to look forward to, to smile about, and to feel contented. Good spirits, por favor, venga!
First thing that made me feel good today: my super cool mom’s coffee!! it tastes so good today haha yea i love you maaa ;)
I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.
Sylvia Plath (via misswallflower)
Learn to love solitude – to be more alone with yourselves. The problem with young people is their carrying out noisy and aggressive actions not to feel lonely – and this is a sad thing – the individual must learn to be on his own as a child – for this doesn’t mean to be alone: it means not get bored with oneself which is a very dangerous symptom, almost a disease.
Andrei Tarkovsky (via bbook)
Moon Rise Time Slice…. this is a collage of 11 photos taken over 27 minutes and 59 seconds